Tuesday, October 09, 2007
The Ape
I dreamed last night that I was over a Glenn Beck's house (Why him? I don't even listen to the man) with my oldest son Jake. Suddenly this ape comes out of nowhere and attacks Jake. To get away, Jake starts climbing up this giant tree with the ape after him and me after the ape.
I fought with the ape while climbing up the tree. I tried every way I could think of to stop him from chasing Jake, but nothing worked. Finally we all reached the top of the tree, we must've been 20 stories high, and I realized that the only way to keep the ape from catching Jake was to grab him and pull him off the tree with me.
What I felt at that moment wasn't fear or anger, but regret. I regretted that I didn't think to pull him off with me lower down the tree where I could've survived the fall and not have to leave my son fatherless.
I woke up with the thought that man, since he is not God, is doomed to live with regrets because we don't have access to the future or the past. Whatever it is we must do will have to be done despite the potential for, or surety of, regrets.
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I fought with the ape while climbing up the tree. I tried every way I could think of to stop him from chasing Jake, but nothing worked. Finally we all reached the top of the tree, we must've been 20 stories high, and I realized that the only way to keep the ape from catching Jake was to grab him and pull him off the tree with me.
What I felt at that moment wasn't fear or anger, but regret. I regretted that I didn't think to pull him off with me lower down the tree where I could've survived the fall and not have to leave my son fatherless.
I woke up with the thought that man, since he is not God, is doomed to live with regrets because we don't have access to the future or the past. Whatever it is we must do will have to be done despite the potential for, or surety of, regrets.
